Theresa
Each quarter, we feature an individual woman and ask her the questions below. From there, we build that months’s newsletter around her answers. Being that we are one year into this journey, we wanted to answer our own questions and share more of us with you! So this month we bring you Theresa! If you missed Rebecca’s feature, find it on the blog!
For what are you most grateful?
Family, friends, and health. It’s my trifecta. My balance, contentment, and vitality. Each one needs nurturing and that always comes right back around to me. I realize how lucky I am in all of these things and how important they are to me to live a fulfilling life. Each has had its challenges and growing pains but have given me the best life lessons.
What do you value in relationships above all else?
The ability to say I’m sorry when it really matters. It’s a reset button.
Who have been the most influential people/events in your life thus far? How have they affected your life decisions to this point?
My parents. They have let me know since early days that their only expectations of me were to find ways to be of service and discover my purpose through self-determined joy. Even when I made it difficult, they did their best to know and understand me and remind me of my strengths, which at times could feel like liabilities. Attributes like my sensitivity and empathy had their purpose and they did their best to help me preserve, protect, and stay connected to those traits through therapy, meditation, various activities that got me out of my comfort zone, and any ways they thought could benefit my growth. They let me make my own decisions and determine my path even when it conflicted with what they wanted for me. I had to make mistakes and get hurt in order to level up. I carry that with me.
What of your perceptions, knowledge, experience, and wisdom would you leave as a gift for others? For your children, grandchildren, or best friends? What gifts have others given you that you’d like to pass on?
Don’t make assumptions and give people grace. Don’t get me wrong, I swear like a sailor if someone is driving recklessly around me and totally have judgy moments but I constantly work this muscle to avoid falling into a cynical, judgemental place. This stems from others extending me the gift of grace. Being human is a lifelong learning experience. I’ve made plenty of mistakes and there were people over many years who showed me kindness and patience. Those people gave me the gift of evolution and possibility.
Do you feel connected to your body? Has it betrayed you in any way? What lessons has it taught you?
More so now than ever before am I connected to my body because I have felt betrayed by my body. Also experiencing the betrayal of bodily health in people I love. I still can’t believe cancer took my dad. Sudden illness, the development of chronic illness, something just failing is a mental crush. A couple of years ago I went through a terrible abdominal infection, still not entirely certain what it was about, and then weeks later had multiple ruptured ovarian cysts that put me in the ER. I never go to the ER, I’m pretty lucky. The last time I did I was around 30 years old for, you guessed it, ruptured cysts.
What this has taught me is to identify where I have the ability to do something. That I can no longer ignore my body and live separate from it. That if I want to be able to function and participate in my life I have to value the vessel that carries me as something more than a clothes rack that gets me from point A to point B. I have to honor the special needs it has and what it requires. In nourishment, movement, product choices, and appreciation.
What is your relationship with your menstrual cycle? Do you have discomfort or do your symptoms interfere with your living your ideal life? If you have gone through menopause, how did you find that transition and have you found it has changed how you look at your body?
For decades it was an inconvenience. A painful, unpredictable inconvenience. I felt fear and annoyance every month. I was also told by a former male employer that I had the highest pay on staff because of the insurance covering my lady parts. My pay at a higher position was less than the male employees. We were all barely scraping by on what we were paid, btw, and at times didn’t even receive a paycheck. So add guilt and shame to that relationship-to-my-cycle list and as a stubborn response I never went to the doctor to check my lady parts (makes no sense, I know). And then there was distress when I couldn’t afford period products. So, in a nutshell - inconvenient.
Then we wanted to get pregnant. Then I had a terrible postpartum and we didn’t want to get pregnant again. Then my cysts blew up (see Felt Betrayed By My Body above). And I learned that there was no more ignoring. And in learning about my body I realized all of the time I wasted living in the false narrative that my menstrual cycle was gross and inconvenient. That in fact, it is beautiful and powerful and connects me to something greater.
If you could share something with young girls that you wish someone had told you, what would it be?
Surround yourself with people who give and receive untethered love. Who unconditionally encourage you to find peace and contentment inside and outside of yourself. People around whom you can learn boundary setting, where yours are and how to respect the boundaries of others.
How would you create your dream space:
Lots of windows and natural light with a view of nature, be it woods and/or a body of water. Lots of books, plants, and warm lighting (lighting is key for me), a comfortable place to read and work, with photos of people I love and art that inspires me. I'm a voracious reader and some of my recents favorites are Dragonfly by Leila Meacham, Pineapple Street by Jenny Jackson, and the Kate Hamilton mystery series by Connie Berry for some cozy Hygge reading.
What does your ideal day/night/life look like:
For each day of the week? No? Just one? Hmmmm… Wake up and take my coffee back to bed to read for a bit and then meet my best friend with her dog (our dogs are best friends, too) for a walk to the lake or through a dog park and then out for breakfast. Get my daughter and husband and go for an outdoorsy adventure. Then over to our best friends’ house to make dinner and play games with our framily. It’s usually the guys prepping and cooking (thanks Mike and Jake!) and we go anywhere from Pasta Night (5 mini courses of pasta dishes ranging from squid ink to bolognese to cacio e pepe) to Appetizer Night to Fangsgiving (What We Do In The Shadows themed Thanksgiving).
Do you have a favorite family recipe?
Mediterranean Tuna Pasta. I remember this dish as a simple one pan dinner my mom would whip together with a side of crusty bread and a salad. It’s a go-to comfort dish for me and I crave it. It’s salty and briny and slightly sweet from the tomatoes. There are a few iterations out there to play with like using garlic, lemon, chili pepper flakes, and capers but my mom’s simple version was chopped yellow onion sauteed in olive oil, adding slices of fresh tomato (canned or a sauce is fine), canned tuna, and sliced black and green olives, seasoned with salt and pepper, served with a penne or rigatoni pasta. Easy peasy.
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